Home is where the heart is....

Funny how last year at this time I had just found out I would be spending the Fall in Jordan. How fast the time has gone by. I've officially been home for 3 months now, although sometimes I feel like my Jordanian adventure never really happened.

The re adjustment period has been hard. Honestly, it has been harder than adjusting to Jordanian life. Seeing my family and friends has been more than a blessing, and reuniting with my American life and all the small comforts of home has truly left me feeling great. I now wonder how I even got by living abroad without hot water, real coffee or lots of toilet paper. I am however, disappointed in myself. Once returning home I jumped right back into taking small things for granted. Upon leaving Jordan I had hoped to continue things like short showers knowing how other parts of the world are so water poor. I am however human, and American through and through. This experience has proven how much we take for granted, how much I take for granted living in the United States.

People ask about my experience abroad all the time. It breaks my heart because I know there is no way to convey how beautifully magnificent life in the Middle East is. I get frustrated and typically respond with, "It was amazing, life changing really", only to hear, "WOW that's cool". Period. Most people don't care that I saw some of the oldest places on earth, or that I rode a camel through the desert, and saw the sun set over the vast expansion of sand. Nope, people don't want to hear that I had to barter for goods in a market with broken arabic, or that I smoked hookah or drank endless tea. My memories and experiences are limited by words, pictures, brief stories, and that is if and only if people are interested enough to listen.

I've come to terms with it though, that no one will ever understand or truly be able to grasp how special my time in Jordan really was. The experience was and most likely will be the hardest thing I will ever go through, it pushed me to my limits emotionally, intellectually and personally. I had days I thought I would never survive, but I also had days that changed my soul, that touched me to my core. I met people who lived so differently from me, but who opened their homes, their hearts and their minds to who I am. I learned compassion, patience, cross cultural communications, empathy, and that no matter where we are, or what we believe, we are all humans. We are all here trying to survive, trying to provide and trying to live what we think is a good life. Although beliefs, customs, ideas may be different, our roots are the same.

I think about my time in Jordan a lot. Sometimes I miss it so much I would give anything to go back, even just for one more day, to hear the call to prayer, or have a cup of tea, or even to take a crazy cab ride. I miss it because it was my home. It truly was my home for 4 months of my life. I adapted and made connections with a culture and society that have shaped me and will always be a part of my being. Spending time abroad, and more specifically in Jordan, was the best decision I could have made, and I am extremely thankful I was given the opportunity to do what most people can't even imagine.

I know that I will return to the Middle East. I know in my heart I will always have a home there, and that I am a strong enough person to live and thrive in the Arab culture. The people and the culture have accepted me, and I will forever hold a place for Jordan in my heart. I hope that through my blog you have experienced a small taste of what I am so passionate about. I hope that you look past the war, the bombings, the media negativity and into an area with people, just like you and me, that are strong, rich with culture and vibrant with history. I challenge you to not believe everything you hear, but to experience the Middle East for yourself. Listen to Arabic music, eat Middle Eastern food, read a book from an Arab writer, watch an arabic movie, or simply pick up a bible. Islam and Christianity came from the exact same place, many stories in the bible are also in the Quran. Many Muslim beliefs are paralleled by Christians. So please, don't be swayed by Al-Qaeda or Fox News, form your own opinion on this diverse group of people from this wide area of the world, you may surprise yourself and fall in love, like I did.

Last but not least I want to say thank you. Thanks for following me throughout my journey. Thanks for the constant thoughts and prayers, the warm wishes, the support. I could have never succeeded without all the help. Knowing my family, friends and loved ones were here thinking about me carried me through this experience.

As for me, I am currently taking three classes pertaining to the Middle East, all which keep my love alive. Next year, I plan to take advanced Arabic, so help me Allah, and continue with my Arab/Islamic Studies. Inshallah I will be able to travel overseas again sometime in the near future. There are many more opportunities I hope to grasp as well as places I would love to see. Until my next big adventure, thank you all, American or Jordanian, for being a part of my life. I truly have been blessed. Shukran jazeelan, Ma'salaama!